The Sootopolis Holiday Special
by RunsWithScizors
Summary: Three Team Breakneck members at Lisia's grandma's house for the holidays. Things go about as well as you expect. (A story for Pokedex Adventures taken even less seriously. Rare pairing inside, but we've hinted it before.)


**And we are back!**

**The editor isn't a fan of anything Christmas except the day itself and a few movies. When ****this idea wouldn't leave her alone, I decided to write this insanity using her ideas. The result is something focused on family and friendship and using the holidays as an excuse. This does not take place in anime universe, so please keep any inconsistencies with the anime out of the comments. The same goes for the manga.**

**We also decided to actively ship Wallace and Flannery, because everyone who doesn't ship Wallace with Steven ships Wallace/Winona and Steven/Flannery. Those ships aren't bad, but we turned shipping Colress and Professor Juniper into a running gag, so it's clear we need rare pairs in our lives. At least this couple is on the same side. Why we bothered confirming anything? It just helped it work better.**

**We also have a poll for the readers to decide which oneshot you want to see next. You have until the end of next month to choose.**

Brendan had saved Hoenn twice, once at 12 and again at 14. He had tamed Rayquaza and defeated the Hoenn League. He was the so-called leader of a good Team Something, and his best friend/second-in-command had not just a legendary, but an actual, living _alien _under her command. Now, at 15, he stared down a door, waiting for someone to answer.

He could handle meeting his other teammate's family. He'd met her uncle face-to-face on multiple occasions, and had defeated him for the Champion title. He had May with him, and their Pokémon, and there was no reason why anyone would want to throw them out...or at least, that's what he told himself. He knew better, but that's what he told himself.

"It's just for one night," May said, sounding convincing but with her hand on her Mega Ring, preparing to send out Latias and bail as soon as necessary. Brendan had taken Rayquaza, so he could blast a hole directly into the ceiling if he needed to.

The door opened, and they found themselves face-to-face with Lisia, niece of Champion Wallace and the reason they were invited. She'd changed out of her usual Contest outfit and into a plain blue dress with long sleeves, but she kept her Key Stone headband. Behind her was Ali, her partnered Altaria, who had not been dressed up for the occasion, and was eyeing Brendan with suspicion.

"Agent Sneakers," Lisia said in mock-seriousness, eyes on Brendan.

"Dancing Shadow," Brendan greeted right back. "I brought Songbird, too."

Lisia's seriousness dropped immediately, and she pulled them inside. "Thank you so much for coming," she whispered. "I love my family, but Grandma's been asking when I'll get a boyfriend and I _really_ don't want to have that conversation. Like, ever." She tugged on her sleeve, forgetting for a moment that she wasn't on stage.

"I'll pretend for you," Brendan suggested, trying not to listen when May laughed at him. "Just say I'm the boyfriend."

Lisia looked pained as she continued, pretending Brendan hadn't spoken. "She's asking why I'm not dating Chaz."

May's quiet snickering became a maniacal witch cackle. This, in turn, summoned Lisia's mother from her hiding place.

May's first impression was that the woman looked like a gender flip of Wallace, even though she knew there was a twelve-year age difference between the two - Wallace had mentioned so in an interview, when someone had commented about how he could pass for his _niece's _brother. After meeting the supposedly mythical older sister, she wondered exactly how many people with that coloring were related to them, and how many could play in the Sky Pillar.

"Is there a rule that you're only allowed to marry people with similar coloring?" Brendan, as usual, had no filter, and the shock of seeing two nearly-identical people triggered the volcano of words. "Is Wallace the family outsider after that thing with the poker game?"

"No." And, clearly, he had made a bad impression on his teammate's mom. "Well, actually, yes, but just because the entire relationship was a bad fanfic come to life. We marry who we choose, just like everyone else. The Sootopolitan genes are dominant."

"Way dominant," Brendan agreed. "What if Wallace and Flannery have a red-haired baby? Would that lead to awkward questions, or…?"

Lisia and May both thumped him on opposite sides of the head.

* * *

Not long ago, Wallace had surprised not just his family, but the entire world when he had actually gone through with marrying the woman he supposedly won in a poker game. Flannery had stated that faking a relationship was "a romantic comedy waiting to happen," but that they weren't complaining. He'd left his hometown for hers, though having a Pelipper with Fly made it almost like he never left. She'd promised to pay him back for that sacrifice, and had seen her chance here.

However, one thing she failed to consider was the immense temperature difference between Lavaridge Town and Sootopolis City in winter. While in the summer, Sootopolis was nice and warm, a time when people were ice skating across town was going to be difficult on someone who lived near a volcano. She'd brought sweaters and warmer pants, but no one could prepare for the truth of the situation.

Wallace had given her the option to stay home, but she'd refused, and that led to the current situation - an angry redhead wearing a white fuzzy sweater and matching socks, as well as two layers of trousers, wrapped in blankets in front of a space heater in an attic, while her husband watched in slight disappointment.

"I did try to warn you," Wallace pointed out, to which she merely stuck out her tongue like a child. He continued on, pretending it didn't happen. "You could have stayed behind. I wouldn't have held it against you. No one would - my brother-in-law chose to stay home after last year's Incident, and his town is much closer than yours."

"Well, that's because_ he_ decided to take that bucket full of chicken fat and -"

Wallace cut her off with a laugh. "Remember, Flannery, we don't speak of that out loud."

"Right." She took a moment to pull the blanket tighter, simultaneously pushing the secondhand story from her brain. "I thought I could handle the cold," she said, deciding a subject change was in order. "I've been to Rustboro in the winter."

"Rustboro never has more than three inches of snow."

Flannery's eyes went wide. "How much does Sootopolis get?"

"When I was a kid, we had seven and I still had to go to school."

"SEVEN?" She couldn't keep the horror from her voice.

Wallace didn't even seem to be kidding, which was the worst part of all. "I grew up here. Why did you think I was so willing to leave?" he asked, and she groaned, pulling the blanket over her head.

"Because of the humiliation of your drunk genie costume from three years ago?"

The memory made him cringe, and he shoved the mental picture of that "costume" into a dark corner of his brain, where he hoped it would never resurface again. "I told you," he said, sounding like he wished he could join it in silent death, "I lost a bet. And I thought I made everyone promise to pretend it never happened."

"Juan got to mention it," she reminded him, which was the reason she had taken to such drastic measures to regain some of her warmth - they'd been outside to pay a visit to the current Gym Leader. "You could have told me that the stupid thing got you arrested by the fashion police."

"I was not_ arrested,_" Wallace retaliated, making a mental note to comment on Juan's everyday outfit sometime. "And it wasn't the fashion police. I was merely given a well-thought-out and organized list of complaints from the city of Sootopolis." All bitterness faded from his voice, and he continued on, defeated. "By...our city council."

"We've all made bad fashion choices," she reassured him, though he could tell the thought was entertaining her. She pulled at the bottom of one pant leg, showing off the second layer underneath. "Do you know how hard it is to walk like this? And let's be real here, short tops and baggy pants aren't the best combination, either."

The two were interrupted by the sound of Lisia's knock. "Hey! My friends are here and Grandma wants us all downstairs, so..."

"I have the plague," Flannery said immediately.

The sound of annoyance from everyone who heard her proved that no one believed her. This, it turned out, included Brendan, who continued the conversation anyway.

"If you have the plague, that means the whole house has been exposed to the virus. Since I've been exposed, I should join you in quarantine. Meaning, death is your only escape."

Wallace struggled to keep a straight face. "Flawless logic."

"I can find a flaw if I pick at it," Flannery insisted.

"I'm sure you could, but let's try to keep the peace for at least a few hours."

He was using his attractive voice to his advantage again, manipulating it just enough to bring all her thoughts to him instead of Brendan. It wasn't something he did often (which left his entire fan club disappointed every time he used other methods of getting his way) and it wasn't so hypnotic that people did whatever he asked, but it was enough to soothe her annoyance into something manageable. Reluctantly, she got to her feet, leaving her blanket cocoon behind, and flicked him on the shoulder as she passed. "You owe me for this."

Deciding not to bring up the fact that it was her own fault she'd left her warm hometown for the holidays in the first place, he agreed.

* * *

Despite the claims of a deadly illness, Flannery announced that she was going to help out in the kitchen. It was an excuse to be warm while still being social, and everyone saw it, but they accepted her offer when she reassured them that she'd never burned down a building by cooking before - "and just once when I wasn't cooking." Brendan offered to help, on the grounds that he was practically living alone in the warmer months already and needed more recipes for when his parents refused to drop food off at his Secret Base.

"I have to!" he protested when all the adults looked concerned. "May never bothered to look for me, Lisia's too famous to try, and the only time Tate and Liza showed up was to TP the place! The only person following proper Secret Base protocol is Wally, and I think he tried to lock me in once!"

May stopped brushing her Absol to give him a pointed look. "That's what you get for changing his codename from Agent Broface to Prancing Pony."

"It's not my fault that he rejected Unicorn Lollipop."

"It is if you suggested Unicorn Lollipop in the first place and didn't give him the choice to pick his own."

Flannery looked concerned, but Lisia shook her head. "Don't ask," she stated, before returning to grooming Ali, who was still looking at Brendan as if expecting him to start something.

Under most circumstances, Brendan would have said "Smart bird" and changed the topic. But this time, he wasn't done. "So I ran out of spy movie codenames. I didn't think it would cost me a friend."

"He's still your friend," May reassured him. "He only planned to leave you in there for a minute or two. Just enough for you to get his point."

There was a moment of pointed silence. "Well, it didn't work, so the joke's on him."

"And you still talk to him?" Flannery grinned. "That is friendship. I've locked Winona in so many places it got old."

May and even Dusky looked surprised. "You did?"

"We've all done it," Wallace confessed. "It's a side effect of getting to know someone. Once your friends know you won't put them in danger, you're free to mess with them in ways that make it seem like you will."

"Even old people friends?" Lisia asked with a perfect poker face.

Fortunately, neither was offended by the use of the word 'old,' and Flannery just made a face at her. "I know I'm older than I look, but we haven't even reached 30 yet."

"You're older than me."

"Good point."

"So can you tell stories about embarrassing adult moments?"

Flannery took a moment to dump a bowl of chopped vegetables into the soup pot, thinking over what she was going to say next. "Your family doesn't serve alcoholic drinks at these parties, do they?"

Brendan stopped what he was doing to look at her. "Why, are you pregnant?"

Flannery hit Brendan with a spatula, not even bothering to look at him. "This relates to Lisia's question, Brendan, not things you shouldn't ask a woman ever."

Brendan, despite wanting to see the scandal of a red-haired baby in _this _family, just shrugged and let her keep speaking.

"The reason I asked is last year my cousin made me something too strong and I spent an hour talking to her five-year-old about taxes," Flannery continued, realizing that most of her life stories she was allowed to tell, they were old enough to experience for themselves. They could fake relationships, get into real ones, stay up past midnight, lock their friends in places, and burn down buildings with a misplaced Flamethrower attack. They'd done almost everything she had.

She was 24 and the boring aunt already. Maybe she shouldn't have dropped out of college to be a professional battler.

Fortunately, drunken shenanigans were perfect material for non-boring stories, and something that the kids probably hadn't done.

"What did the kid do?" May asked, leaning in to make a note for a story.

"He wasn't listening. His mind was focused on Santa. I just thought it was both funny and humiliating enough to make it into our conversation."

"Who wouldn't be focused on Santa?" Brendan spoke more to the oven than to the others, but he could feel their eyes on him. "What? Santa brings me presents!"

"You still believe in Santa?" May asked when he looked at her.

"I, for one, find it hard to believe you were ever on the nice list." It was hard to tell if Flannery was actually surprised by this or just getting revenge for the pregnancy comment. It could have been both.

Well, if they were going to do this, he could continue this pointless conversation. "I saved Hoenn, didn't I? That must've gotten me and May on the nice list for life."

"But then the whole Broface/Prancing Pony incident happened," Lisia pointed out.

Brendan was actually upset by the fact that Lisia doubted him. "Lisia, do you think your grandma will let me make cookies?"

"Probably," Lisia said, not sure she liked where this was going. "Why?"

"Just asking."

Of course, 'just asking' was always a bad omen.

* * *

"Lisia, why did your boyfriend bring a date?"

Of course Lisia's grandmother had waited until they were eating to do this. This was the one time they couldn't escape. Wallace tried to find something to change the subject to, but had no success, while his sister tried to come to her daughter's defense.

"Mom, please. They're teenagers, he probably just wanted backup."

"If it was backup he wanted, he could have brought that Wally kid Lisia mentions now and then."

"Brendan isn't my boyfriend," Lisia pointed out.

"Or mine," May cut in. Not that this woman was the first person to make that assumption. "We came here because Lisia said she was allowed to bring guests, and wanted both of us as backup."

"Backup for what?"

"For this conversation," Brendan answered bluntly. "Does Lisia really need a romantic relationship? Look at her! The girl barely has friends! No offense," he added, looking over at Lisia.

"Offended anyway," Lisia replied, as Ali finally dropped his suspicion. Silly bird. Didn't he know that the chaos that followed Brendan would never stop?

The old woman looked slightly ashamed. "I was merely asking. She talks about you and Chaz a lot. I was just wondering if one of you happened to be romantically involved with my granddaughter."

"I know that's what you meant by it," Lisia promised. "I just...Brendan and May and Chaz are my closest friends, so of course I talk about Brendan a lot."

"And yet, May is usually only mentioned in Contest-related conversations. At least Chaz was your rival on your trainer's journey as well."

"May is Brendan's best friend and sidekick," Lisia pointed out, though she looked slightly embarrassed herself. "She's usually right behind him in all of the antics I tell you about."

May pouted. "Brendan's my sidekick, though."

"No," Lisia stated. "No, he's not. He's got your back in a fight, but that doesn't make him your sidekick."

"Sidekick," Brendan taunted.

May kicked him in the side of the leg. "Like that?"

"As for Chaz," Lisia continued, ignoring her backup, "he is my friend in the Contest circle and my rival when it comes to the Gym challenge. He's a lot of fun to be around, and he annoys me more than anyone."

"Sounds like a best friend to me," Wallace said.

"I still haven't forgiven Steven for putting you in that genie suit," his mother agreed, bringing Wallace into a facepalm of shame.

"Can we all agree to pretend that the genie suit never happened?"

His wife put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Absolutely not," she promised. "No one can un-see that. Besides," she held up her phone with her other hand. "I have pictures."

"Photographic evidence?" He reached to steal her phone, but she laughed and pushed him away.

"Oh, you know it's been on the news. Maybe I'll save it in case we have kids, for when they make their inevitable bad fashion choices."

'In case.' Not 'When.' There went roughly half of Brendan's hope of seeing scandal.

May kicked him again, this time with a warning in her eyes to prove she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I wasn't gonna say anything," Brendan protested.

"Weren't you?"

"Not about that," he clarified. May didn't seem to believe him, but she didn't kick him again, so Brendan considered it a win.

Instead, she spoke as an author, addressing her friend's grandmother with faked innocence. "I don't see why anyone _needs_ a relationship in the first place," she said sweetly. "I mean, I write fanfiction in addition to my own work, so I do have some experience with shipping fictional characters. But shipping real people? I only do that if they're actually a couple."

"Or are Archie and Shelly," Brendan added.

May didn't even look at him. "You know as well as I do that they were practically married while we were fighting them, and the fact that I had to help her talk him out of naming their baby 'Sharpedo' means I am absolutely not a hypocrite. But that's not what I was getting at here." She gestured at Wallace and Flannery, who were now debating the pros and cons of bailing out of here and going home, and immediately stopped talking when they realized that they were the stars of the conversation now. "How did you guys meet?"

"At a Contest that Flannery attempted and failed," Wallace answered immediately.

"He and Lisia came backstage after the fires were put out," Flannery recalled. "He told me that my performance could use work and that he believed in me - lying to make me feel better, I'll bet."

May nodded, then looked back. "Would you have assumed that they were already dating if you'd seen that?"

"They did start dating," Brendan pointed out.

May kicked him again. "Not until _after_ they published their own fake engagement rumors. For corn's sake, Brendan, keep up with the conversation."

"Sorry."

"What I'm trying to say," she finished, pretending nothing had happened despite Brendan feeling that he'd wake up with a bruise, "is that love is completely unpredictable, and shipping something doesn't make it canon - in fiction or reality. Only fanfiction."

Lisia's mother nodded. "I met my husband on a plane to Kalos," she told them. "We bumped into each other on the way to the bathroom, and he turned out to be sitting behind me the whole time and recognized my hair."

"Real romantic, Mom," Lisia said with a smirk.

"It's better than how_ my_ parents met. Or do you need a reminder, Mother?"

The voice was innocent, but the threat was clear. Wallace was struggling to keep his composure now, while Lisia and the guests all sat there in confusion.

"I suppose both are better than that," the old woman decided. "I'm sorry, Lisia. I just wanted to interrogate your potential love interests to make sure they were good enough for you."

"I know," Lisia told her. "And I promise, once I get a real love interest, you'll get that chance. But for the record...how_ did_ you meet Grandpa?"

Seeing everyone's eyes on her, she closed her eyes and sighed. Her husband had died not long after Lisia was born, and she had never wanted to corrupt her children's memories of him with stories like this. But they'd dug around and found out anyway, and if Lisia was half as determined as they were, she might as well give only the most important detail. "He drove my getaway car."

The entire table laughed. Brendan composed himself enough to look at Ali smugly.

"See? Now I'm not so bad after all, am I?"

Ali returned the expression, or at least as much of it as an Altaria could pull off.** "What was that, Santa's helper?"**

* * *

After baking cookies with Lisia, Brendan insisted on setting a few out for Santa, looking Flannery in the eyes as he said it. She laughed, May and Lisia rolled their eyes, and the other three adults pretended they hadn't heard. But they all went to bed, leaving Team Breakneck in the living room - Lisia on the couch, each of her friends in a chair - as they sat around to wait for Santa.

Or, be stupid, unsupervised teenagers in front of their silent alien friend, who was watching in interest as they did the exact opposite of what it had seen in movies.

"You know, if this was a movie, we'd be raiding your grandma's alcohol stash by now," May commented, not bothering to get up from under her nice warm blanket. Deoxys got up as if to search for said stash, but May shook her head and it sat back down.

"Yeah, and it'd be a Christmas miracle if the grown-ups don't torture us by turning on all the lights while we're hungover," Lisia laughed.

"And blasting old-person rock music," Brendan finished.

"Or just Jingle Bell Rock," May said seriously, and then all three of them howled with laughter.

"That would_ suck!"_ Lisia gasped through her tears, burying her head in her pillow. "Why would you make me think of that?"

"Because I hate that song and Brendan gave me an opening." May deliberately bit into a Santa cookie, dripping crumbs.

The sound of footsteps over their heads shut them all up, as May looked horrified, momentarily believing that Santa would see her eating his cookie and put her on the permanently naughty list.

Then Flannery showed up, her hair down and her eyes half-closed, and May remembered that she was supposed to be the logical person here.

"So..." the Fire-type specialist said, slowly, clearly needing sleep, "can you guys_ please_ shut up? I know you're trying to stay up for Santa and all, but it's kind of annoying everybody else."

There was another uncomfortable silence.

Brendan cleared his throat. "You do know the whole Santa thing was just an excuse for the three of us to eat cookies all night, right?"

"Of course I do," Flannery replied immediately. "You do know that half the reason I came down here was to steal one, right?"

"Yep. You know I know you don't have the plague, right?" Brendan lowered his voice. "I was kind of waiting for them to go to sleep so I could put Lisia's present out and freak everybody out."

Flannery gave him the same suspicious stare Ali had been giving him all day. "It's not poop in a box, is it?"

"Of course not. That's what I got May."

"What?" May dug around in her friend's bag until she found the present he'd picked for her, and opened it before he could stop her. She sighed in relief when it was just a small, plush poop emoji.

"You ruined half your present!" Brendan complained.

"Half?"

"Squeeze it."

She did. A loud fart noise cut through the quiet, and May broke down into laughter. Then she squeezed it again, laughing even harder.

Brendan shook his head and gestured to his best friend, as if she were a rare Pokémon he had discovered and the others were the scientists he was presenting her to. "Behold, the Ravenclaw. Ruled by intelligence, creativity, and wisdom."

Another loud fart noise.

Then they heard the sound of Lisia's grandmother poking her bedroom ceiling with a stick. "Wallace, you do this every year! At least have some respect for your wife!"

"Every year?" Flannery repeated, suppressing laughter. "Oh, this is BETTER than the drunk genie costume!"

"Makes me wonder, though," Brendan commented, and Lisia shook her head.

"Usually, either he or Steven serenades the other with a whoopee cushion playing Christmas carols. They've been best friends since they were kids, it's a Christmas tradition by now."

Brendan looked over at his own best friend, who was now showing Deoxys how to squeeze the toy without ripping it or breaking the fart mechanism, and he knew what his future held. "You'd think grown men would have outgrown fart jokes."

"The sad part is, they have. They just refuse to break tradition."

The alien Pokémon squeezed the toy once, immediately got bored, dropped it, then walked out the back door and jumped onto the roof.

"Form a star like in the Nativity story," May called after it. She grinned at Brendan. "We don't have any holy babies here, but Santa might want to know my new location!"

"Shut up," Brendan groaned.

* * *

May had re-wrapped her toy to fake surprise in the morning, and the group gathered for breakfast - Lisia's mother made pancakes, which was a nice surprise. Then came the traditional gift exchange, which Brendan and May were under no pressure to join, for obvious reasons.

Still, Brendan officially gave May the poop in a box, and Lisia a new bracelet. "I bought it online from all the way in the Alola region," he said, as she stared at the small but still very real Corsola horn shards dangling from it. "I think the seller's name is Olivia? But she said it was one of a kind and she used naturally shed Corsola horns..."

"I know you wouldn't give me anything that hurt a Pokémon," Lisia reassured him. She struggled a bit to put it on, but got it eventually. "Even you have standards, Brendan."

May squeezed her toy again, and everybody cringed.

"Stop it," Flannery ordered, not looking up from her phone. "I'm trying to do something and I need concentration."

"What are you trying to do?" Lisia asked as May, very reluctantly, put the toy away.

"Give your uncle a second Christmas present in the laziest way possible."

"Why can't you just do it normally? He's literally two rooms away."

"Because I want the best possible reaction to it." She grinned and hit 'send,' then turned off the phone before anyone could look.

Seconds later, they heard Wallace come running, more excited than his usual composed personality would allow. He locked eyes with Flannery, not seeming to notice anybody else. "You really mean that?"

"Would I have told you if it wasn't true?" she said with an innocent smile, pretending not to notice everyone's confusion. "You know me better than that."

His smile was as pretty as the rest of him, and he hugged her like they do in the movies, saying things like "this is fantastic" and "one of the best things I've ever heard" and other similar things. He wasn't crying tears of joy, but May wouldn't have been surprised if he had.

"What now?" Brendan demanded. Then he stopped, almost hopeful. "Wait! I've seen this in movies! Was I right about the baby thing?"

"You're reading a little too much into this." Flannery grinned at him over Wallace's shoulder. "I told him I deleted the photos. I didn't know he'd be THIS happy."

"This is the greatest gift I've ever gotten," Wallace told her honestly. "Now the drunk genie costume can finally die."

She pulled out of the hug to make her next point. "Steven and Winona probably still have evidence."

"Irrelevant. It's the thought that counts."

Someone rang the doorbell.

"What NOW?" Lisia complained, and they all went to investigate. There stood Steven Stone in a Santa suit, complete with a fake beard and belly padding, and behind him was a red sleigh being pulled by nine Stantler.

Clearly, the guy had more money than he knew what to do with.

"You really went the extra mile," Wallace commented, looking at the clown nose on the leader of the troop.

The Stantler leader didn't seem to mind.** "I'm Rudolph every year. It's fun."** His real nose twitched, as if trying to prove a point.

"Is Rudolph trying to light his nose?" Lisia asked.

The Stantler leader sneezed.

Steven ignored everything going on around him, deciding it would be a better idea to just play the role he was there to play. "Merry Christmas to all!" he said, forcing as much 'jolly' into his voice as he was capable of. "I hear a young man named Brendan was waiting for me."

"You heard that?" Brendan was surprised - not as surprised as he would have been if he thought Steven was actually Santa Claus, but enough. "How?"

"Through my magic crystal snowball," Steven answered, even though he hadn't seen the movie that one came from in years.

"I called an end to our usual tradition," Wallace explained to his very confused niece. "In exchange for giving up the chance to play a whoopee cushion like an instrument, he gets to have the opportunity of a lifetime."

"Be Santa for a bunch of kids over the usual age?" Lisia asked, and Wallace faked innocence.

"Actually..."

"I believe I have your well-deserved present here, Brendan," Steven continued, and Brendan immediately reached for Rayquaza.

He found his friend's hand on his own, stopping him. "If this is going where I think it's going," May hissed, "you need this."

"I know where it's going," Brendan told her. "I don't want it to go there."

"Too late!" 'Santa' laughed, as he had his Metagross lift up a green bag that could have held a person, or more Pokeballs than most trainers used in an entire journey, and it was packed to the brim with grilling coal.

"How did I know?" Brendan groaned.

May laughed. "Hey, it's better than what I imagined. I thought he'd pelt you with it."

"If I had pelted him with it," Steven said quietly, in his own voice instead of the hilarious attempt at Santa Claus he'd been using, "I wouldn't deserve to wear the beard."

Flannery crossed her arms, trying to look angry. "You and your costume designer accomplice put my husband in a genie suit. You _don't_ deserve the beard."

"Good point," said Steven. He picked a piece of coal from the giant bag. "Brendan, think fast!"

Wallace caught his hand before Steven let go. "Let's not and say you did."

"Well, Santa," the owner of the house decided, "it looks like you and your Stantler squad are tired after being out all night. Why don't you come in and have your milk and cookies?"

She looked over at the Team Breakneck trio as she said it, and Brendan looked shifty.

"Maybe you can give him some leftover pancakes instead," he suggested. "Cookies are a party food, after all."

"Not even three teenagers could have eaten all of them. I saved some for the occasion." She nodded at May. "Maybe Deoxys can interview the Stantler squad on _their _holiday traditions."

* * *

While the adults had their own kind of fun in one room, Team Breakneck chose to claim another. They even called Wally and the twins for a full team meeting, though they were a little disappointed when Tabitha was the only redeemed villain who answered.

"They all have grown-up problems," Liza shrugged. "Life hits you pretty hard once you leave school. Marriage, kids, death..."

"None of them died, though," Wally said, missing her point.

"None of them were really adults until Brendan and May got to them," Lisia added, and all of them agreed, even Tabitha. "They failed science class hard. Are you sure Tabitha and Shelly used to work for Devon?"

"How do you think Brendan and I got space suits?" May shrugged and leaned against her sleeping Swampert. "That leaves the question as to why neither of them tried to stop the bosses..."

"Because we knew they couldn't be stopped," Tabitha answered, surprisingly serious. "I know Maxie, he really would have launched rocket fuel into a volcano."

"That just brings up why you're not spending the holidays with your friends," Tate said, following Brendan's lead in the 'no filter' department.

"Maxie and Courtney don't celebrate anything. Not even their own birthdays." They could hear the annoyance in his voice. "Do you know how hard it was being the only member of Team Magma with any sense of fun? At least Shelly joined Team Aqua to keep Archie and Matt from dying. I joined to see if Maxie could make his stupid ideas work."

"I thought it was because your parents wanted a girl and named you Tabitha," Brendan interrupted.

"Tabitha is my_ last_ name, Brendan."

"Really? What's your first?"

"My first is what's on the criminal records. But why don't you tell me why you wanted to have an adult join in on this insanity in the first place?"

"We ran out of friends," Brendan answered casually.

"_He_ ran out of friends," May said, not opening her eyes. She and Jerry were both on the verge of sleep. "I just wanted updates on the whole team. You, Maxie, Archie and Shelly all swore your loyalty after we stopped your evil plans, so you're technically members, too. I saw the former Team Aqua last week, and wondered how Magma was doing."

"We're doing absolutely nothing," Tabitha answered seriously. "Nothing but protecting volcanoes from stupid travelers who try to throw things into them. Ask Brendan."

One of May's eyes opened, and it locked onto her friend. "Brendan?"

"You know I can't be left unsupervised!" was the only defense that he could find.

The meeting was broken apart by the sound of a scream from upstairs, and after ending everything, the trio resurfaced to find Steven and Flannery both looking out the window in horror.

"This can't be possible," Steven said under his breath. He'd been to Sootopolis in the winter before, of course. His years-long friendship with Wallace had ensured it. But he'd never seen it snow in the city before, and it was more than a little frightening.

Wallace just shrugged it off. "Why do you think there's half an ocean in the middle of town for the rest of the year? Don't worry, this is nothing a Sunny Day can't fix."

Flannery, clearly the one who screamed, glared at Wallace. "Next time I plan to do something _this _stupid, lock me in my Gym."

"I'm glad I finally have your permission." He looked out the window himself. "I can barely see the roof of the Stantler shelter. That's not going to be fun."

Lisia looked outside herself, then swallowed and turned to her mother. "Um...does this mean we're stuck here?"

"Not likely," Flannery said through her teeth. She then released her Torkoal and opened the front door. "Flamethrower."

Torkoal nodded and stepped outside, ignoring the uncomfortable wetness of the snow-turned-rain and attempting to clear a path without a shovel.

That was a plan Brendan could get behind, and called out his trusty Blaziken. "Join the Torkoal in melting everything," he ordered. Then he looked at May. "Well? You have a Torkoal, too, don't you? Help out!"

"I'd rather not flood a city." Still, she called out her own Torkoal, and pointed at the door. "_You_ use Sunny Day."

May wasn't the only one who had that idea. In every single house that had a Pokémon with the move, they all sent them out to use it. This was only a temporary solution, but it would do enough.

A second Fire-type move was necessary to evaporate the melting, too, but May would allow her Torkoal to do that much. And as soon as they could, the heroes of Hoenn left Sootopolis City, the family situation that led them there fixed just in time to spend the holidays with their own families.

The ride home would have been much more fun if May hadn't brought out the poop.


End file.
